A Truth Universally Acknowledged
by TriciaMacMillan
Summary: Bella feels both strangely attracted to and repulsed by the standoffish boy who sits next to her in English. She and her best friend, Alice, are looking for love, and they refuse to settle for anything less. ExB, JxA. A modern 'Pride and Prejudice.'
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or any of its characters.**

**This is a new story I'm working on, and the storyline will be vaguely reminiscent of Pride and Prejudice. I still haven't decided if I will be continuing with this story, so review and let me know what you think.**

**Prologue**

"Bella?"

Dammit. Mr. Bingley's at Longbourn, and about to propose to Jane. _I can__'__t hear you…_

"Bella!"

I sighed loudly and put a scrap of paper from the table in between the pages of _Pride and Prejudice_ to hold my spot. "What, Mom?"

"Why don't you come downstairs? You're always cooped up in your room. I feel like I never see you anymore!" There was a whiny tone in her voice that made me even less willing to oblige.

"I will at the end of this chapter, okay?" I wouldn't.

"Alright," she sighed. She knew I wouldn't just as well as I did.

I flattened my pillow against the bed and plopped down on my back. I stared at the small spots of paint that stood out around the edges of my white ceiling and thought as little as possible of anything else. I could feel the dull ache slowly returning in my stomach, so I cranked up the volume of my music. Not being able to hear my own thoughts seemed to be the best relief for this type of pain.

In no time at all, it was suppertime, and I heard my name being called from the bottom of the stairs, so I rolled over and let myself fall off the bed, putting my feet to the floor just in time to catch myself. I walked--or maybe 'trudged' is more appropriate--across my room and down the narrow stairway. The kitchen was filled with some wonderful aroma, and I enjoyed it thoroughly for a few seconds; the smell turned stale and unappealing when I realized what it was.

"So what am I having for supper, since I'm clearly not eating this hunk of bloody cow?"

"The vegetables aren't going to cut themselves."

Mom pointed me in the direction of the half-prepared salad, and I started to cut a cucumber into tiny pieces. I glared at the marinated steak next to my elbow. How dare it look so delicious? Ugh. How dare _I_ think that way? I took a frustrated bite of the cucumber, and chewed it moodily.

When everything was ready, I plopped down at the table in my usual spot. Dad came into the kitchen and looked at my plate with an amused expression. "Wow, Bella, you sure you can eat all that?" he chuckled.

I half-smiled, half-grimaced at his attempt at humour. He was still making cracks about my vegetarianism. I would have thought he'd be over it by now.

"Don't you feel bad for the tomatoes you're eating?" he continued. "Planted and raised only to be plucked from their homes and served to you with ranch dressing. What a way to treat a living, growing being! Take pity on the poor things."

"No pulse, no pity. Sorry."

"That seems awfully elitist of you, dear." He was still joking, of course, but I wasn't really in the mood to play along with him, so I didn't respond. After a short silence, he volunteered some detail about his day that was mainly directed at Mom, and they chattered away about it, letting me off the hook for the rest of the meal.

I picked at my salad, and tried unsuccessfully to pay attention to Dad's story. When supper was over, I did the dishes in a hurry, and took the stairs two at a time back to my room. The aching in my stomach was back, stronger and sharper than earlier. I grabbed my book, curled up into a ball on my bed, and left my world behind…

"_I am certainly the most fortunate creature that ever existed!__"__ cried Jane. __"__Oh! Lizzy, why am I thus singled from my family, and blessed above them all! If I could but see _you_ as happy! If there _were_ but such another man for you!__"_

Be patient, Elizabeth. Mr. Darcy comes back, too.


	2. Chapter 1

Mom always says a watched pot never boils. Well I've had my eye on this pot that's bubbling over, only to realize now that what I really needed was a nice, cold pot of water…

Okay, so that was a really awful analogy. But whatever.

There was a time--as in, two weeks ago--that I was silly enough to think I _wanted _summer to be over. I thought senior year would be different, exciting. Plus, I hated my summer job--cleaning rooms at the kind of sketchy, rundown motel you see in horror movies. But mainly it was the senior thing.

So here I am, finally back to school. And I want my pot of cold water back. Or my ocean of cold water back… my cold, salty, beach water…

Okay, I must snap out of it now.

I looked around the room at the people I hadn't seen for months. They looked like zombies, watching the teacher drone on about how this year is the most important year of our education or something cliché like that. Tan zombies, apparently still dazed by the stark contrast between yesterday's freedom and today's imprisonment.

I didn't see a face I didn't recognize, and I was thankful for that--not that I wouldn't love to meet someone new, but if no one else ever moved to this town again, it would be all the better for them. And it's only one more year until I'm free, anyway. Free for good this time.

I suppose graduation makes the whole concept of high school at least bearable; not every point in a person's life can be a high one, and next year will only seem so much better in comparison.

Being an optimist is so much more fun than the alternatives.

I caught Alice's eye from across the room. She looked bubbly, and not at all zombie-like. Her blue eyes sparkled, even during this painfully boring lecture. I compared her expression to everyone else's, and it reminded me once again why she's my best friend. I never did like _Dawn of the Dead._

Alice moved here in December, and has made the last nine months of my life decent. Good, even. I've lived here since I was six, but I've never felt at home. I'm different, I guess. Alice's different, too. And I don't mean we're different like the kids who choose to be called 'freaks', who dress and act certain ways just to get people to stare at them. Different like… Belle, from 'Beauty and the Beast'. _There must be more than this provincial life…_

Alice turned her head, and I followed her gaze; two seats in front of her, I saw what she was smiling about.

Jasper Whitlock. Sigh.

Jasper was the boy that everybody loved. Boys, girls, teachers, parents. Everybody. Half the girls in the school had a crush on him, and some of the boys too; judging by his expression as he turned to look back at Alice, it was clear they were all wasting their time. I turned the other way and bit my lip to keep from laughing out loud. They were so cute, in a weird way. They looked like they should be on some sort of greeting card commercial, all happy and in love.

And beautiful. I think her soon-to-be-relationship with Jasper made her _more _beautiful, which is saying something. Her short, dark hair had more shine, her skin was perfectly clear, pale and flawless, her blue eyes were always bright, and her smile was just a fraction more genuine.

To be honest, I loved being near her but hated standing next to her.

Jasper's not too bad-looking himself, I noted. The two of them could probably have some gorgeous babies... His blond hair was shaggy, and his small but piercing eyes, dimples, and white teeth were all impeccable. He made me want to smile whenever I saw him, because I didn't want him to catch me looking unhappy; I felt like, if he did, he would have to come over and smile at me until I reciprocated the gesture.

The bell rang shrilly and the zombies began to shuffle to their feet. Alice bounced over to me, smiling at Jasper as she rushed past him. I grabbed my books, and she pulled me out of the classroom.

"So…" She trailed off, waiting for me to say something. She was grinning widely. I decided to play dumb.

"So… what?"

She looked exasperated. "So what about Jasper?"

"So he looked very nice today. I'm surprised he's not more tan, though, working at the pool."

"Bella!" she chided. "You _know _what I mean." Her eyes were pleading and I had to laugh.

"You know he likes you! Come on, you're not really that modest, are you?"

"Well I _think_ he likes me. But it's so hard to know with boys." She looked a little sad when she said that, and I couldn't believe that she was doubting it when it was so glaringly obvious to me.

"He likes you," I assured her. "Trust me." She still seemed a little concerned, so I looked at her wide-eyed and serious as I said, "Quite frankly, I was half expecting him to jump you right in the middle of Calculus."

She laughed and her eyes looked gratefully at me. She must have decided to let the subject drop for now, because all of a sudden I was being interrogated.

"So what about you…?"

Ugh. Not this subject again. "What _about _me?"

"Anyone in particular caught your eye?" she teased.

"Not exactly." I rolled my eyes.

She laughed again, high and sweet. "Okay, okay, just checking. Jeez."

Alice wasn't in my English class, so I waved goodbye and turned in to Mr. Graham's classroom. The seating plan this year had me sitting in the very back. Great. I'm no keener or anything, but the back always sucks. Only one other person had been assigned a seat in the back row. I scanned the seating chart for a name…

Edward Cullen. Edward was the boy everybody loved to hate. I didn't know him hardly at all, but I knew that. And Jasper, strangely enough, was his best friend.

In looks, they were the same but opposite. Edward was also very pale, and his short, bronze hair and large, green eyes were striking. I would have called him beautiful if I hadn't heard what people thought of him.

He was already sitting at his desk when I took a seat next to him. As I sat, I said a quick, "Hello," and he only nodded in response. He barely even turned his head to acknowledge me. Arrogant, self-centred jerk.

Even still, though, I couldn't help but look at him every few minutes while Mr. Graham was talking. For one thing, yes, he was beautiful. For another, his eyes shocked me. Their size and colour were fascinating enough, but their expression was baffling. I looked at him as much as I could while remaining discreet, but I couldn't figure out what they were saying. As far as I could see, he didn't take his eyes off the front of the classroom at all. I was sort of glad, but sort of not. I didn't want to get caught, of course, but if he would look straight at me for a second it would make my investigation a lot easier…

No. Don't look at me, Edward.

He didn't.

Class went by slowly. Mr. Graham was talking about _Hamlet_, but I'd already read it. I listened enough to be sure he wouldn't call on me for anything, but it didn't take long to see that he was feeling particularly self-indulgent.

I tried my best not to look at Edward, and failed. Once I thought I saw him catch me, but I turned away too quickly to be sure. But he definitely didn't look too impressed. I was surprised when that disappointed me. Why did I care?

By the end of class, I had the left side of his face memorized. He only looked straight ahead. When the bell rang, I jumped out of my seat and all but ran to the hallway where Alice was waiting for me.

**Review!**


	3. Chapter 2

**This is the first time Edward and Bella see each other, but from Edward's POV. I know it's short, and I'm sorry. But I have the next two chapters written, and, if you guys review enough, I'll post another update today. Otherwise, I wait until tomorrow.**

**This story is going to be mostly BPOV, but I think I'll do an EPOV every few chapters. Sound good? Let me know.**

Just wonderful. The beginning of another perfect school year at Forks High.

Luckily, this year will be my last, but that fact provides little comfort at a time like this.

I miss the city. I miss Chicago, and all the opportunities it provided. I'm sick of this small town, but mostly I'm sick of the small town people. I sat beside Jessica Stanley in Art this morning, and she wouldn't shut up about some girl she hated sleeping with her ex-boyfriend in the bathroom of the 7-Eleven. Case in point.

Jasper likes Forks. No surprise there. If Jasper were abducted by aliens and his body was used for experimentation, he would make small talk with the little green men cutting him open and probing his organs.

I love Jasper; he's a great guy, but, sometimes, he's just too goddamn _pleasant._

The only class I have in common with him is fifth period Law. So the rest of my day is spent shutting people out: brainless gossips, pointless cliques, and talentless teachers. Next on the schedule: English, with Mr. Graham. Well, at least we would be studying a bit of Shakespeare.

I got to class before the bell, and I scanned the seating chart quickly. The back row. I wouldn't have to pay attention.

I was the first one to class, so I just sat there, enjoying the peace and quiet before the other students could show up and disturb it.

Slowly, they trickled into the classroom, and the noise level seemed to increase exponentially with the number of people in the room. I tried my best to tune it all out.

Then I noticed what I thought was a girl walking towards me. No, not towards me, I guess. She was assigned the seat next to me. _Swan, Isabella_, I remembered from the chart.

She said, "Hello," and I glanced up at her, assessing her quickly. Long, brown hair. Nice eyes. Decent body. She was pretty, but not beautiful; overall, nothing I would lose any sleep over. I nodded my head, acknowledging her greeting, and went back to my solitary reverie. My expression and body language seemed to offend her. Oh well. I wasn't going to go out of my way to please every pretty girl who sits near me.

Mr. Graham took his place behind the podium at the front of the classroom. Great. From my experience, the teachers who use podiums are the pretentious classroom dictators who think they are much more intelligent than they actually are. He began his lecture on _Hamlet_, and I was bored already.

Isabella looked at me every few minutes. I think she thought she was being sneaky about it, but she wasn't. I was used to girls looking at me, so I ignored it at first. But she wasn't looking at me the way other girls looked at me. Her eyes were not raking over my body, or staring at my hair. They were not filled with desire.

Isabella was not lusting after me; she was trying to… _read _me.

Let her try. I don't care.

Near the end of class, I snuck I quick look at her, just to see. She was looking at the front of the room, but she didn't seem to be paying any more attention to the teacher than I was.

My original assessment had been a fairly accurate one, and the only detail I hadn't given her enough credit for was the eyes. They were more than nice. They were large, and a deep chocolate brown. Beautiful.

Otherwise, though, she was just another girl.

I didn't look at her again, and, when class ended, she practically sprinted out the door.


	4. Chapter 3

**I'm very sorry, but this chapter is missing a certain bronze-haired boy we all love. He'll be back, no worries. And I've got the next 2 chapters here; your response determines when I post them!  
**

**Also, if you know Pride and Prejudice, you'll understand the Angela part here; if not, don't over-think it. It's a little OOC for Angela, but someone needed to fill the role.**

I had to admit that I was stung by the way he looked at me, like I was a piece of trash. No, not even a piece of trash. Like I was nothing. Not even worth a glance.

I joked about it with Alice, though. I wasn't going to let him get to me. I mimicked his glare, his stillness, and his apparent disgust for everything around him, and we both laughed at his arrogance.

"But Bella," Alice said more cautiously. "You're not offended or anything, are you?"

"No, Alice, I'm fine. I'm not going to let a guy like Edward Cullen make me feel bad about myself."

"Good," Alice laughed. I laughed too, more at myself for ever seeing any beauty in him. I was determined to get him out of my thoughts.

Over the next couple of weeks, though, I was certain that I caught him looking at me out of the corner of his eye in English class. I never turned towards him to verify my suspicions. I was sure he was glaring; he never looked at anyone but to find a flaw. I began to bring books to English class to keep myself busy. Mr. Graham continued his lectures on misogyny and Shakespeare, and I continued to read with my book hidden under my desk. I didn't want to be bored to death, but I couldn't let myself be distracted by Edward either.

Lucky for Alice, Jasper began to join us at our lunch table. He was good company for both of us. Though Alice and I were always surrounded by people, we rarely spoke to anyone but each other. Jessica, Lauren, Katie, Angela, Mike, Tyler, and Eric sat at one end of the table, discussing parties, love lives, and pregnancy rumours; Jasper, Alice, and I sat at the other, discussing things that actually matter. Alice and Jasper were so cute together. I didn't feel awkward, though. They never made me feel like a third wheel, and I was happy for them.

In AP Chemistry, Angela was my lab partner. Though she was a part of 'The Other End of the Lunch Table', she was the kindest of them all, and the least superficial. She could be very fun to talk to, if Jessica wasn't around. And Jessica was definitely not in any AP classes.

Angela also tended to be quite shy, and we prepared for our lab in silence. We were going to be using litmus paper and conductivity tests to determine acids and bases. As I was putting my apron on, Angela broke the ice.

"So I hear Alice is a lucky girl these days," she said.

"She certainly is. Jasper's a great guy."

"That's for sure." She whistled, and we both laughed. "Alice isn't very flirty, though, is she?"

This surprised me. With her looks and bubbly personality, it was rare for her to be accused of _not_ being flirty.

"I don't really know what you mean," I admitted.

"Well," she started. She didn't look at me as she poured an unlabeled compound into a flask. "She is always smiling and stuff, I know. But she doesn't really go out of her way for any particular guy, including Jasper. I know she likes him and all, but she should show it more, right? She should show it, or she'll lose him."

"I think she shows it just fine," I responded a little stiffly. "What do you want her to do, let him feel her up in the hallways?"

Angela looked embarrassed, and I instantly regretted my harshness. "That's not what I meant. I'm sorry for bringing it up," she mumbled.

I wanted to say something nice to Angela, to ease the tension that was now tangible, but I couldn't think of anything to say. We finished the lab without talking; it was very easy. When the bell rang, she hurried out of the classroom, and I purposely took a longer time wiping of the lab bench. I was never good at dealing with awkwardness.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that Eric Yorkie was also cleaning up his bench, and staring at me. When he began walking towards me, I turned suddenly towards the door, but, before I could escape, Eric called out, "Bella, wait!"

Crap.

I turned reluctantly to face him, sighing. "What is it, Eric?"

He grinned at me. "Nothing, I just wanted to talk to you."

"Oh." I waited for him to continue, but he didn't. _Alright, I__'__m giving you 5 seconds to get to the point. 1... 2... 3... 4..._

"You look really pretty today, Bella." He still had a goofy grin on his face. I idly wondered if he would still be grinning like that if I knocked out a few of his teeth.

"Thanks," I said shortly.

"Are you going to the party tonight?"

"I didn't know there was one."

"Yeah, it's Lauren's birthday. She's throwing a huge party at her aunt's house in the country."

"Oh," I replied, only half listening. "Well I really doubt I'll be going."

"Why not?" His expression turned sad, and he reached up to touch my shoulder. I instinctively took a step back. _Who does this guy think he is?_

"Um, I've got homework and stuff." Before he could say another word, I added, "Nice talking to you, Eric, but I have to go. Bye." I practically ran out of the classroom.

I met Alice at our usual spot in the student parking lot. She laughed at the expression on my face, left over from my unpleasant conversation. She raised her eyebrow at me questioningly.

"Eric," I responded.

"Ah." She instantly understood. "Forget about him. I have some good news! It'll take your mind off of stupid, annoying boys who can't take a hint."

"Ooh, what?"

"We're going to a party tonight!" she squealed. I frowned.

"Lauren's?" I said dully.

"Yes. Why does that not excite you?" I could tell she was disappointed that I wasn't squealing along with her.

"That's what Eric was asking me about." My frown deepened as the memory of the conversation replayed in my head.

She shrugged. "There'll be a ton of other boys there. You're not going to let one boy ruin your fun, are you? _Our _fun?" She gave me her best puppy dog face; her large eyes watered up, and her bottom lip stuck out awkwardly.

"Jasper asked you to go, didn't he?"

"That is beside the point, missy," she said defiantly.

"Fine."

"Fine, you'll go?"

"Yes, Alice, I'll go."

Her eyes sparkled, and any irritation she had vanished instantly. She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards her car, a 911 Turbo. Alice was notoriously good at getting what she wanted. "Shopping! We need new outfits."

Oh joy.


	5. Chapter 4

**So, based on the scarcity of reviews for the last chapter, I'm gonna guess you guys don't like Edward-less chapters? **

**Thanks to DatBengaliFinesse and shadowX101 for being the coolest reviewers in the world.**

I had to admit it, Alice was good.

At Lauren's aunt's house five hours later, we were looking hot. Well, mainly Alice.

She was wearing skin-tight jeans, an amazing black halter, and black stilettos. I would have felt totally awkward with that much skin showing, but Alice could definitely pull it off.

Alice, knowing my insecurities and more conservative attitudes when it came to clothes, had me wear a pair of slightly more comfortable jeans and a girly, grey t-shirt that only showed a little bit of cleavage. "Enough to be sexy," according to her, but she was still disappointed that I wouldn't show more.

I never wore make-up, but Alice had forced it on me, and I was grateful. When she was done giving my hair some waves and she finally allowed me to look in the mirror, I could hardly recognize myself. Alice was a genius.

I insisted on flats, and Alice consented. She knew I could hardly walk without falling flat on my face, and the chances increased exponentially when the possibility of dancing arose.

So I was feeling fairly confident when I walked through the door and into the party. Heads turned as we crossed the room; almost all of them were looking at Alice, but I didn't really mind. I was used to it.

One head in particular was looking at me, I noticed. I turned slightly to see who it was, and I was shocked when it turned out to be Edward. He wasn't glaring, as I would have thought; only watching. Not like he hated me.

I didn't have time to give it much thought, though, because Alice spotted Jasper, who was waving at her from the other side of the large room. Alice pulled me along with her, eyes only on Jasper.

"Hi, Alice."

"Hey, Jasper." They were both shy all of a sudden. Alice was biting her lip and looking down, while Jasper shuffled his feet. He couldn't keep his eyes off her, though, and I smiled to myself.

I decided to start the conversation. "Hi, Jasper, what's up?"

He looked at me and smiled. "Hey, Bella. Not much. I _was_ introducing Edward to some new people, but he got away from me."

"Not a social butterfly, that one," I laughed.

Jasper and Alice joined me. "No, I guess not." He looked around for a second, and said, "Oh, there he is. Edward! Get your ass over here!"

I turned and saw Edward shuffling towards us. I felt my breath catch in my throat for a split second. As much as I tried to ignore and deny it, Edward was beautiful. His black shirt was tight, and it hugged his chest and abs. As perfect as his body was, his face was what took my breath away. I stared at his mouth for a few seconds before I realized that his green eyes were on me. I looked away, embarrassed.

_His beauty doesn__'__t make him any less of a shithead, _I reminded myself.

"Edward, have you met Alice and Bella?"

"I believe I have. I used to take Music with Alice, and Bella sits next to me in English." His voice was smooth and velvety, and I had to remind myself what a jerk he was.

Alice and I nodded, and silence fell over the group for a second. Before it could get awkward, though, Jasper bravely said, "Alice, would you like to dance?"

She smiled and nodded, and Jasper added, "Edward, maybe you'd like to dance with Bella."

Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "No!" and I heard Edward answer, "Sure."

Jasper looked at Edward and then me questioningly.

"I don't dance."

Edward smiled at me, and said seductively, "Don't worry. It's all in the leading."

"No, thank you. I really would rather not. Excuse me." Before I could humiliate myself any further, I turned around and walked away.

Crap. Crap, crap, crap. My stupid mouth.

I headed to the drink table without turning around. Most people had brought their own alcohol, but I gratefully poured myself a glass of Coke. _Maybe if I had some alcohol, though, I wouldn__'__t act like such a bitch. _

I chugged the Coke, and began to pour another when I felt a hand on my shoulder. _Edward? _Once again, my breath caught.

But it was Eric. Damn.

"Hey, Bella!" he said, far too eagerly. "I thought you weren't coming tonight? Not that I'm not glad you're here. I am. Really glad." His cheeks turned bright red, and he took a step towards me. Dangerously close to invading my personal space.

"Alice wanted me to come." I obstinately ignored all the other implications in his words.

"Oh," he said, suddenly nervous and unsure. "Would you… I mean, do you think you'd… um, wanna dance?"

"I don't dance, Eric." I said it with all the pent up frustration from my conversation with Jasper and Edward, and I immediately regretted taking it out on Eric. "Sorry," I added with a smile.

"You don't know how to dance?" He looked confused. "I could teach you."

"No, Eric. I don't want to learn." I turned away from him, but he took a step so that he was, once again, right in my face.

"C'mon, Bells, you know you really do want to."

I didn't regret the venom in my voice this time. "I said no, Eric. Now _please_ leave me alone."

He was about to protest, but a hand caught him on the shoulder and turned him around.

"Bella said no, Eric." Even when it was harsh and menacing, the voice was beautiful. "I don't want to catch you bothering her again."

Eric looked like he was going to shit himself. "Sor… sorry, Edward. Bella…" I watched him run away with his tail between his legs, and I wanted to laugh, but I looked up at my rescuer and immediately forgot what was so funny.

"Thank you, Edward," I said as confidently as possible.

"You're very welcome, Bella." He smiled crookedly, and I had to turn away. I would not let him catch me staring again.

After a few deep breaths, I turned around. "I…"

But he was gone. I frowned to myself.

Just then, Alice bounced up to me with Jasper by her side. "Hey!"

"Hey, Alice." I tried to keep the misery out of my voice, but Alice knew me too well.

She looked worried. "Eric again?" she guessed.

I hesitated. Did I want to get into it? "Yeah… Eric…" No. I would tell her the rest later. "Alice, I think I'm going to head home now."

"Oh," she said disappointedly. "Well I guess I can drive you…"

"No, it's okay. I can call for a ride."

She looked at me with a mix of relief and worry. "You sure? It's no problem."

"Don't worry, Alice. Have fun with Jasper." I gave her a wink, and she smiled, her eyes sparkling. _Lucky girl_, I thought again.

I waved goodbye to Jasper, and headed for the door. In the back of my head, I couldn't stop myself from wondering where Edward had gone off to…

**I hope you liked it! Next chapter is the party from EPOV. Here's the deal: you review, I post. Yeah?**


	6. Chapter 5

**Have I told you guys I love you? Because I do. Also, one of the reviewers mentioned that my chapters are too short. I prefer short chapters and more frequent updates, but it doesn't matter. Would you guys like to see longer, if slightly slower, updates?  
**

**This is basically the same scene as last chapter, but from Edward's POV.**

So I guess I was wrong. When I determined that Isabella Swan--Bella, as she prefers to be called--was nothing I would lose sleep over… I couldn't have been more wrong.

I can't even explain it. Every night for two weeks, I have tossed and turned with the image of her face in my head. When sleep finally takes over, she stars in my dreams.

Her eyes. In my mind, I see her watching me like she did the first day. Truthfully, it is I who watches_her_ more often now. But still, I feel her beautiful eyes staring at me, watching me, penetrating my skin and seeing into my soul. _Do I sound like an idiot, or what?_

I watched her face, listened to her speak. It started as mild curiosity, and that was it. But it built from there. Quickly.

She started bringing books to English class, which only heightened my already excessive interest in her. She must have been an avid reader, bringing a new book every couple of days. First, it was _1984_. Classic, a good choice. Next was a Coupland novel, one of my favourites, _Microserfs._ Then _Lilith_, by George MacDonald. Then T.H. White's _The Once and Future King_. Shit, everything about this girl intrigued me, even her choice of novels. I couldn't stop staring at her.

She never looked at me once.

When Jasper began sitting with Bella and her friend Alice at lunch, I was uncontrollably envious. He suggested I join them, but I could not accept. I had to tame this obsession with Bella, and how could I do that if I talked with her every day? No. So, every day, I would buy my lunch and eat alone in my Volvo. I am pathetic.

After enough of Jasper's pleading, however, I did agree to go to Lauren's party with him. I had spoken with Lauren before. Well, she had spoken with me, batting her eyelashes and flipping her hair. As far as I was concerned, she was a waste of space. When I didn't give her the time of day, she started dating Tyler Crowley, and she would show up at school with hickeys all over her neck. Classy.

The second I walked into the party, I regretted it. It was only 7:30, and people were already drunkenly grinding to shitty music. It was disgusting. It was vertical sex with clothes on.

Jasper seemed perfectly at ease, and he began conversations with random people. None of the conversations were interesting or intelligent, but at least the people were relatively sober. I stayed distant, and spoke when spoken to.

"…Bella's not here! She said she wasn't coming tonight. But she totally wanted to, she was flirting with me like crazy…"

It was the obnoxious voice of Eric Yorkie talking to Colin from behind me. I turned when I heard Bella's name. I felt my fists clench and my lip curl up the slightest bit. I had never liked Eric, but, all of a sudden, I wanted to kill him. It would be easy, he was a scrawny little kid…

What? What was I thinking? Was I… jealous?

_Shit, Bella. How do you have this much control over me?_

She probably didn't flirt with him. Bella was smart, that much was obvious. And this kid was a tool. She would not have flirted with him. He's delusional. Stupid Eric. I needed to get away from the conversation going on around me, so I turned and walked across the room. No reason, no destination. I just wanted to get away from Jasper and his 'friends.'

Just then, the door opened and two gorgeous girls walked in. _Bella_… and Alice.

Despite my strange obsession with Bella, and the fact that I saw her face in my head, I hadn't thought much of Bella in terms of looks. I thought she was pretty, of course, but, otherwise, her appearance hadn't really registered in my thoughts. There were so many other things about her that had truly captured my interest. Her intelligence, her kindness, her adorable awkwardness, her sense of humour… I hated that I was forced to observe all of it from a distance.

So when I saw her walk into the party, I was shocked that her beauty hadn't crossed my mind a hell of a lot more.

I couldn't stop staring. Then again, neither could most of the room.

She looked up, and I knew she saw me watching her. I couldn't bring myself to be embarrassed, because I only wanted to keep looking at her. We made eye contact for the briefest second, but she was pulled away by Alice.

Bella and Alice walked straight to Jasper, and I tried not to watch. I tried to look busy with other things, but it didn't take long before I heard Jasper calling me over.

"Edward! Get your ass over here!"

My eyes were on Bella as I headed towards the group. I thought I saw her watching my face and looking at my body, but I couldn't be sure. She blushed a beautiful shade of red when she met my eyes; she was embarrassed by my attention. _Fuck, Edward. Could you _be_ any more obvious?_

Jasper asked me if I had met the girls, and I told him I had. Bella seemed to be avoiding my eyes.

Jasper asked Alice to dance, and, when she accepted, he suggested that I dance with Bella. I answered, "Sure," a little too eagerly, but my eagerness was masked by the fact that Bella said no at the exact same time.

Crap. I knew I was coming on too strong earlier. She must be totally creeped out by my attention.

Jasper gave Bella and I an odd look, which Bella promptly responded to.

"I don't dance."

"Don't worry. It's all in the leading." I tried to smile reassuringly, but I wasn't sure that it worked.

She seemed even more awkward as she rejected me yet again, and she turned around and walked away. I tried to keep the frown off my face, but Jasper could read me too well. He gave me an apologetic shrug before turning back to Alice and heading towards the dance floor.

I couldn't move. I just stood there, feeling like an idiot. _Calm down. It__'__s okay. You didn__'__t make _that _much of a fool of yourself._

After a few minutes, I decided I needed to talk to Bella. Apologize. Show her I'm not crazy. Just talk to her.

I saw her by the drink table, with a boy dangerously close to her. Eric. My blood boiled beneath my skin, and it took all my self-control not to storm over there and punch him in the nose.

I listened closely to their conversation.

"I don't dance, Eric." She almost growled the words, and relief flooded through me. She wasn't interested in him. She seemed to realize she had been unnecessarily harsh, and she hastily apologized. But Eric didn't get the message.

"You don't know how to dance? I could teach you."

She refused him again and turned away, but he followed her and cut her off. He was right up in her face, and I couldn't believe his nerve. I hated him more every second, and his proximity to her was more than I could take. I walked over, and I heard her say, "I said no, Eric. Now _please_ leave me alone."

I wasn't going to allow him to go any farther. I caught him by the shoulder and turned him around to face me. "Bella said no, Eric. I don't want to catch you bothering her again." I said it as menacingly as possible, and it seemed to do the trick. Eric stuttered an apology and took off. Good. If he had stuck around, I might have done something I would regret. Well, something that could get me in trouble; I highly doubt I'd regret it.

Bella's reaction surprised me. She went from amused to uncomfortable to determined in about a second, and I could tell the strength in her voice was forced as she thanked me for getting rid of him. I smiled at her and mumbled something like "You're welcome." Why did I always lose my head when she looked at me?

She turned away, and I knew I had to leave.

I was so stupid whenever she was concerned. I embarrassed myself time and again, and she obviously wanted me to go. I passed Jasper and Alice on my way to the door, told them a quick "Goodbye," and left the party.

_Fuck. _That girl would be the death of me.

**Before you jump all over Edward for going from indifference to obsession in a snap, let me explain a few things about 'my' Edward. First of all, he is a very passionate guy, but he is so damn bored with most people that his passion hardly ever has an outlet. Music is basically the only one he's got. Secondly, he _was_ slightly interested in her when he first saw her. He seemed harsh, but the amount of attention he paid her was actually quite a bit more than he would pay most strangers. You must know how it is when you're mildly intrigued by someone you hardly know. You notice things about them, you watch them, but not creepily. That's what Edward does. Only, most of the time, he gets bored very quickly. This time, he is not bored yet. That never happens for him. This is all new territory. Thirdly, it wasn't all that sudden. It built up over the course of a couple weeks.**

**End rant.**

**Please review!**


	7. Chapter 6

**This was originally two separate chapters, but I wanted to give you guys something better, so now it is one chapter with a very awkwardly written segueway in the middle. I hope the first half isn't as frustrating to read as it was to write; I made Eric the most annoying character in human (or literary) history.**

**Normally, I keep myself ahead of the story, but, by posting this extra long chapter, I have nothing more written yet. I'm going to guess that the next chapter will be posted around this time tomorrow, but I'm not completely sure. I think I'll go back to my normal length, if that's okay.**

"So he just _walked away_?"

"Yep." Alice was shocked when I told her of Edward's behaviour. I wasn't really all that surprised. I mean, he hated me. Normally people don't hang around people they feel nothing but contempt for.

Alice was even more shocked by my apparent nonchalance. "You seemed so flustered at the party. I don't get it. Bella, do you _like _him?"

"No," I said, a little too quickly. "It's just that… he irks me. For whatever reason, I let him get to me. I hate that I do."

Yes, part of me was perversely attracted to him. Yes, Alice could probably tell. But I wasn't ready to admit it just yet. Or ever. Hopefully the attraction would subside, and I wouldn't have to admit anything. It would be so much easier for me to hate him like he hates me.

Edward wasn't at school on Monday. I actually paid attention in English, for some reason. Mr. Graham decided it was necessary to read every single line of Hamlet aloud to the class, so it was taking forever. We were on the 'To be or not to be' soliloquy, which he totally butchered. It was like listening to a suicidal Kermit the Frog. I was relieved, at least, to know that Edward wasn't the only good reason to bring a book to class.

Chemistry was better. Angela and I were pretending like nothing ever happened, which was fine by me. After joking around for a few minutes, she turned serious.

"Eric is looking at you."

"What?" She nodded her head meaningfully in his direction, and I turned to confirm what Angela had said. He wasn't just looking at me. He was definitely _staring. _"Oh, crap!"

He didn't look away, like any reasonable person would do if they were caught staring. He didn't even smile. He just stared intensely. Angela shrugged, and we finished our lab. I was feeling too uncomfortable to speak. I felt my cheeks burn scarlet. _What the hell was he doing?_

The bell rang, and, this time, I rushed to the door. He caught me before I could escape. He grabbed my elbow and pulled me towards him, painfully.

"Ow! Shit, Eric!" I yelled, rubbing my elbow.

"Sorry, Bella." The apology seemed sincere, at least. "I just… I wanted to ask you something before you left… I… Sorry, I'm really nervous…" He was sweating like a pig. Ew.

Then his words sunk in. Ask me what, exactly? Oh, please no. No, no, no, no, no. He wouldn't.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

He would.

I was shocked. Why on earth would be even ask me that question? What kind of response did he _think_ he was going to get?

"No," I said, more rudely than necessary. I couldn't keep the surprise and disgust from leaking into my voice. But he seemed oblivious to it. His face didn't crumble in disappointment, and he didn't turn away. In fact, his expression didn't even change.

"You need some time to think about it, of course. Don't worry, I wasn't expecting an answer right away or anything. I'll talk to you later, Bella." He grinned, and I couldn't move. Not to punch him in the face. Not to shake him. Not even to turn him around and set him straight when he walked away from me and down the hallway.

When I finally unfroze, I could feel my face turn red with anger, and I wanted to hit something. No, I wanted to hit _Eric. _How could he be so delusional? Did he think I was _joking_ when I said no?!

I couldn't even think straight as I went to find Alice. I knew the rage was probably obvious in my expression and in how I stormed down the hall, but I didn't care. Must. Find. Alice.

It took me forever to calm down enough to give her all the details, but, when I finally did, she didn't seem as shocked as I was. Her tone was unreadable when she muttered, "I could totally see _that_ coming."

"Breathe, Bella. Calm down. You can get this sorted out next time you see him. It'll be fine," said Jasper. That helped a little bit. Jasper was good at getting me settled down. I could think more clearly now, at least. I noticed that Jasper was holding on tightly to Alice's hand. Even in my rage, I took a second to appreciate how cute that was.

I was still a little bit out of it during Gym, but that was hardly noticeable; it's not really possible for me to get any worse at basketball. At least I got through the hour without any trips to the nurse. Luckily, by the time Physics rolled around, I was able to concentrate again.

The clock struck 3 o'clock, the bell rang, and I was on my way to meet Alice when I ran into Eric. Well, he ran into me.

He was bounding up to me from the side with so much enthusiasm that he almost knocked me over. _It__'__s okay, Bella. He__'__s only a stupid boy. Not worth getting suspended over. _

I started to speak, but he cut me off. "Have you made your decision yet?" That stupid grin again.

I tried to stay calm, but my teeth were clenched as I said, "As I told you before, Eric, I do not, nor will I ever, want to be your girlfriend."

"So, check with you again tomorrow?" he asked, stupidly.

I couldn't contain myself any longer. "Eric!" I screamed. "_No_! A thousand times no! And don't you even _think_ about asking me again! GOT IT?!" Everyone around us was quiet; they had stopped what they were doing, and were now staring at me. I didn't care. I put all my anger into one glare which I gave Eric until his face crumbled as I had expected it to the first time I refused him.

"Oh. Alright," he said. All things considered, he wasn't as upset as I thought he would be. If anything, he seemed a little pissed about being rejected so loudly. Other than that, he seemed fairly indifferent as he turned and walked away.

Part of me wanted to yell at the people who were still staring at me, and part of me wanted to yell at Eric some more, but I couldn't. I was done. I was too relieved that it was over to care about the rest.

I found Alice and told her about my encounter with Eric. She responded with, "Yeah, we heard you. I think they heard you in Australia." She and Jasper were laughing hysterically at my expense, and I had to laugh with them. What a day.

I was definitely ready to go home and lie down for a while. I ran into Mike Newton on my way out of the school, and he joked with me about Eric. I got the impression that he was flirting with me, but at least _he_ understood the concept of subtlety.

As Alice and I walked to the parking lot, Jessica and Lauren rushed by, in full gossip mode. They were talking loudly, so I couldn't help but overhear them.

"Didn't you hear? Eric Yorkie asked Angela to be his girlfriend. And she said yes!"

That was just too much for my head to take. The second I got home, I ran to my room and turned my music up to the maximum volume. My parents were out of town for a long weekend, so it stayed at that volume until I felt myself get sleepy. The last thing I remember before I drifted off was reaching over and pressing the stop button on my CD player.

Edward was back in school the next day, and I was feeling more awkward than ever. I was so horrible to him at the party, and he had made it clearer than ever that he had absolutely no interest in me.

So when Mr. Graham told us to partner up with the person sitting next to us, I wanted to die.

"With your partner, you must write either a poem, a song, or a 1000 word essay describing a certain aspect of _Hamlet_. It can go into detail about a character, a relationship, a major soliloquy, or one of the major themes. I'm giving you a lot of freedom, so be creative. It's due on Monday, so get to work."

I glanced over at Edward, and I saw that he was looking at me. We both turned away awkwardly. We didn't talk for the rest of the class, and I tried to make it look like I was working independently; I was actually drawing wilted flowers on my binder. English class was horrible.

Chemistry was not much better.

"What the hell were you thinking, Angela?"

"I'm not a romantic, Bella. I never was. Eric asked me, so I said yes. I just did it, okay, it's no big deal." She spoke without emotion, which only made me question her choice even more. It would be weird if she had a secret crush on him or something… but this was worse.

"Ang, I'm not exaggerating when I say you could do so much better. Like, _so_ much better." Angela had never had a boyfriend before, but I never pegged her as the type that minded being single. I guess I was wrong.

She leaned in and whispered harshly, "Look, I don't want to wait forever to find a boyfriend. And Eric's not that bad. I could like him. I could be happy with him. So just because he's not good enough for _you_, Bella, does not mean he is completely worthless." By the end of her little speech, I felt as though she was singling me out, threatening me, attacking me. I was shocked. Sweet Angela never spoke in that tone. I didn't know how to respond, so I didn't.

Mike met me outside the classroom when the bell rang. I was actually kind of glad to see him. He was nice enough, and he actually talked to me like a human being. It was a pleasant change, especially since Alice and Jasper were getting more serious, and things with Angela had changed. I was feeling alone a lot of the time. I thought of Edward, and how Jasper, his only good friend, was never around. Poor Edward. _He__'__s even worse off than I am__…_ Ugh. Why can't I just hate him like I'm supposed to?

At lunch, Alice and Jasper were talking quietly, like they were sharing secrets. I couldn't believe they weren't official yet. Soon. They were basically together, even if they weren't. They were the cutest non-couple I'd ever seen.

I was completely alone. The guys who normally sat at the other end our table were missing. Some football thing. So that meant no Mike. Alice and Jasper were preoccupied. Angela was ignoring me. I was forced to listen to Jessica and Lauren's annoying chatter, for lack of something better to do.

"I dumped Tyler. He's been a total ass ever since I danced with Ryan at my party. I told him nothing happened, I don't know why he freaked out about it."

"_Did_ something happen?" Katie asked, innocently.

"It doesn't matter. He can't prove anything."

I sighed. How much of this high school bullshit can a person take before their head explodes?

Lauren turned to Jessica and asked, "So how are things with you and Mike?"

Jessica smirked. "Nothing has happened… yet. But he likes me. For sure. And there's a dance this Friday, so who knows." The girls giggled mischievously. I wanted to laugh out loud, but I wouldn't be laughing _with_ them.

How blind could Jessica be? Mike so obviously did not like her. It was wishful thinking.

Just then, Alice leaned over and asked me about our Calculus homework. I was grateful for the inclusion. I had gotten my fill of gossip for the week.

The next day in English, we were given the whole class to work on our projects. For a split second, I wondered if Edward and I were going to sit in silence as we had yesterday, but, before I could seriously contemplate my options, he was talking to me.

"Do you play any instruments?"

His question surprised me; I stared at him for a second before I was able to respond. "Yeah, piano."

He smiled crookedly at me, and I almost fainted. "Me too."

"Oh," was all I could say. I was blushing really badly. I couldn't decide between looking straight at him and looking in the other direction, so I just looked like an idiot moving my head back and forth. _Nice, Bella. _

He pressed on. "So do you want to play with me?" My mind jumped to the dirtiest possible implication; my face turned ever redder, if that was possible. I was unbelievably grateful that Edward could not read minds. _He was talking about the piano, Bella._

"Uh, sure," I stuttered. "What are we going to play?"

"I'm not sure. Do you have any suggestions?"

I did. I had thought about this project last night, when the possibility of having to work on it solo was still there. So my face was beginning to return to its natural colour and I was reasonably confident when I said, "I'd like to write a lullaby that represents Hamlet's feelings during the grave scene when he finds out that Ophelia is dead."

He smiled again, and I felt like I was going to faint. "That's a brilliant idea. I love it."

I tried to smile back, but I probably just looked like I was about to be sick. I felt like I _was _about to be sick.

But my idea was good. We would do this project, we would get an A, and then we would hate each other again. That's just how things were supposed to go. If I believed in destiny, I'd say that Edward and I were destined to be enemies.

Even though I couldn't stop thinking about him.

**Next chapter will be in EPOV. **

**Love this? Hate it? Review!**


	8. Chapter 7

**You guys rock, by the way. At this point, though, I feel like I need to give a little bit of an explanation about my characters. If you understand/have no problem with the character choices I'm making, feel free to skip to the story.**

**Yes, some of my characters are OOC. Some of them are OOC because they had to be altered to fit into a certain role in the story (like Angela and Eric). Some of them are more extreme (and, possibly, realistic) versions of themselves. (Yeah right, like Lauren isn't a huge skank.) I'm not going to explain Edward, Alice, or Jasper because I think the changes to their characters have been minimal and/or understandable. But Bella. Bella is slightly OOC because she not only has a certain role to fill in the story, but because my Bella grew up in a completely different way than Stephenie Meyer's Bella, and her relationship with the other characters is very different. I have a big, long explanation for her behaviour, which I will happily provide if you want it.  
**

**This is Edward's POV of the last couple days.**

I couldn't seem to sort out my feelings for Bella; not because I doubted my attraction to her, but because I had no idea how she felt about me. I thought she liked me. I thought she liked me _a lot_. Almost as much as I liked her. But maybe I was overconfident. Maybe I was reading her wrong. I'm usually a good reader, but Bella is different. She never does what I expect.

I lost a lot of sleep over the weekend, thanks to her. I was visiting an old friend of the family, Tanya, in Denali. I wasn't used to the Alaskan air, and, combined with my sleeplessness, my immune system never had a chance. I was sick as a dog on Monday. No school for me today. No Bella for me today.

I missed her. It was weird. I knew I shouldn't miss her that way_. I'm missing her like she's mine… and she's not mine._

Yet.

I hadn't gotten over my embarrassment, though, so that only complicated the thought process. I had been such an idiot at the party. I vowed not to stare at her, no matter how fantastic she looked. Then I vowed to be a man and tell her how I felt. Soon. Well, when the time was right. And who knows when that would be? I would take my time. Move slowly.

By Tuesday, I was recovered enough to return to school. Thank God.

I couldn't concentrate at all in first period Biology. I needed to get to English class. My leg shook under my desk, my breathing was unsteady, and my forehead was covered with a thin layer of perspiration. It's strange how the symptoms of affection are so similar to those of physical illness. Love is a disease. _Wait, did I really just use that word?_

When I walked into English and saw that she was already sitting at her desk, I had to remind myself of my first vow. I looked away quickly, and I didn't make eye contact at all. _No, Edward! Isn't there something in between showering her with creepy attention and trying to ignore her completely?_

Mr. Graham announced that we would be partnering up with the person sitting next to us to work on a project where one of the options was a song. I wanted to jump onto my desk and do a dance. I hoped she was musical. I could write an A+ essay on _Hamlet_ in about twenty minutes, but where was the fun in that?

I looked at Bella, ecstatic for one brief second, but, when she met my eye, we both turned away quickly. Well, there was the thorn on what was, otherwise, a rose of a situation. The fact that I could barely string together a coherent sentence around her would prove to be a problem. The fact that she probably thought I was a creep would prove to be another. Shit.

Okay, I would let her talk first. This could work.

_Talk, dammit!_

She didn't. She didn't so much as look at me for the rest of class. She was busy writing something, but I couldn't see what. Whatever it was, it was clearly more important to her than me.

But I refused to let myself wallow. I needed distraction. I didn't eat lunch in my Volvo; I couldn't trust myself to be alone, because _she_ was all I could think about when I was alone. The smart, kind, quirky girl who didn't even acknowledge my existence in English class.

I sat in the cafeteria, at a table in the corner, by myself. I saw Bella sitting at her usual table. She seemed lonely. Jasper and Alice were leaving her out a bit, I guessed. I would have to talk to him about that. He should have known better.

He was so distracted by Alice that he had completely forgotten his manners. That was unlike him. I watched him more closely. I normally kept an eye on Jasper, and made sure he didn't get himself in any trouble; my own one-track mind lately had made me forget about my friend. But I watched him now. And boy, was he ever smitten. I had never seen him like this with a girl. This was serious.

I turned my attention to Alice. She seemed… nice. I could tell she was a good girl. Pleasant and funny. I could see why he liked her. But I couldn't tell how she felt about him. She appeared pleased to have his undivided attention. Did she think of him the way he clearly thought of her? I was sceptical.

Shit. Jasper had had his heart broken a few times, but never like this. He had never fallen for someone like he fell for Alice. And she was going to destroy him. _Shit._

Well, at least I was successfully distracted. I went almost ten minutes without thinking of Bella at all, followed by another hour where she was only in the background of my mind.

What could I do about Jasper? Could I save him? I couldn't just sit back and do nothing.

Before I could form any real idea or plan, though, I allowed my thoughts to drift back to cheerier topics. Well, topic. Well, Bella.

I would talk to her in English. I was determined. Plus, we kind of had to do this project tomorrow, so talking was a necessity.

I really didn't want to write an essay. _Please be musical. Please be musical. Please._

So, in English the next day, I asked her the question I so desperately wanted the answer to. Well, one of them.

"Do you play any instruments?"

Her response only increased my affection for her, if that was possible. "Yeah, piano." My heart soared at those words.

I must have been grinning like an idiot when I told her that I played as well, because she only said, "Oh," in a tone that was clearly questioning my sanity. I forced myself to keep talking.

"So do you want to play with me?" _Please say yes_.

"Uh, sure. What are we going to play?"

Crap. I hadn't planned that far ahead. "I'm not sure," I admitted. "Do you have any suggestions?"

She paused for a second, but, when she spoke, she spoke with confidence. "I'd like to write a lullaby that represents Hamlet's feelings when he finds out that Ophelia is dead." The girl I love is a genius. _Wait, did I really just think that _again_? _

I would consider that more later. I had to get through this conversation first. "That's a brilliant idea. I love it." _That damn 'l' word again._

We began to work away, planning. She smiled at me, and it felt like the happiest moment of my life.

I'm so pathetic over this girl.

**Next chapter is going to be EPOV again. Yep, he gets to go first this time.**

**Any questions, comments, praise, criticism? I reply to reviews, so don't hold back. I want to hear what you have to say.**


	9. Chapter 8

**Some good things and bad things are going to happen in this chapter. I'm really sorry for the bad. Also, pretty much every time I reference books, music, etc, in my stories, it's because I highly recommend them.  
**

The next couple of days flew by; I lived for piano and Bella, and nothing else seemed to matter much. When Esme would ask me how my day was, the only part I would remember with any clarity was English class. Everything else was hazy, grey, and thoroughly trivial.

Mr. Graham extended the due date on our project to Wednesday, and I celebrated in silence. Two more days of working one-on-one with an angel. I didn't even want to think about what would happen after Wednesday. As far as I was concerned, I had no future after Wednesday.

We were making good progress on our lullaby. Bella was only slightly below my skill level, and she more than made up for it with the spirit and energy she put into her music. We worked well together, and I was slowly becoming more comfortable around her. My body still reacted to her presence, but I was able to keep my mind under relative control.

Mr. Graham allowed us to spend class time in the music room. The music room was the one place in the school where I felt truly comfortable, and being there alone with Bella was indescribable. We would spend the first half of class on the lullaby; for the rest of the hour, we would ask each other questions.

"Favourite decade?"

"Probably the fifties. Favourite song?"

"At the moment… probably 'New Slang' by the Shins."

I couldn't help but smile. "I love the Shins."

She smiled back, and my heart beat double-time. "Who doesn't?" she said cheekily. "Favourite place?"

_Here._ "Chicago. Same question."

"Hmm. My bedroom. There's no other place where I can feel so comfortable, like I belong." Before I could respond, she jumped to the next question. "Do you play any instruments other than piano?"

"My father taught me a bit of guitar. You?"

"I sing in the shower." I laughed at that, and her cheeks turned a beautiful red. For a second, I thought she was mad at me, and I was prepared to beg for forgiveness, but she smiled sweetly and I knew I wouldn't have to.

"I'll have to hear that sometime." She looked at me, eyes wide with shock. I replayed the conversation quickly in my head, searching for the problem. When I found it, my jaw dropped, and my eyes matched hers. "I mean… your singing. Not in… not in the shower… I mean…" Shit.

To my surprise, she burst out laughing. I sighed in relief. She was still giggling when she asked, "Favourite person?"

You. _I am so damn corny._ "My parents, Carlisle and Esme. You?"

She thought for a minute. "Alice. She is the best friend I could ever ask for. I could never be as positive, or selfless, or sweet as Alice. I admire her so much." I wasn't sure what to make of this response, so I stored it away for future consideration.

It was her turn to ask a question, but I decided to ignore that and ask her the question I had been wanting to ask since the day she started reading in English class. "Favourite book?"

"Okay, this is a complicated question. There are so many wonderful books, and so many that I enjoy in different ways and at different times. So I have categories." I laughed at that, and she glared at me. "What?"

"Nothing. What are your categories?" I asked, still laughing.

"Well, I have favourite children's book, which is _The Voyage of The Dawn Treader_. I own it in three languages," she laughed. "It's part of the Narnia series."

"I know," I smiled. "It's my favourite in the series, too. What languages? And can you actually _read_ it in those languages?"

"English, of course, and French, and German. The only one I can't read very well is the German, but I'm learning." This girl continued to amaze me. "Another category is favourite sci-fi. That's a tie between _The Host_ by Stephenie Meyer, and _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ by Douglas Adams. But they're both awesome in different ways. _The Princess Bride_ by William Goldman is my favourite adventure. My favourite fairy tale is _Undine_ by Friedrich de la Motte Fouqué. My favourite play--and that definitely counts--is_ Romeo and Juliet_, and my favourite classic is _Pride and Prejudice_."

_Undine_ was the only book she mentioned that I had not read. The rest were among my favourites, too. I made a mental note to drop by the library. "Is that all your categories?"

She laughed again, and it was by far the best sound I had ever heard. "Of course not, but I could go on forever, and I want to know yours."

"Well, I usually say it's _Brave New World_, but you may be on to something with this categories thing…"

The bell rang, and I frowned. I looked at Bella, and, though I can't be sure, it _seemed_ like she was disappointed as well. We said our goodbyes, and left the room in opposite directions.

The week continued like this. It was shaping up to be the best week of my life.

But I couldn't completely forget about Jasper this time. The longer I waited, the worse it would be. We were both a little preoccupied, though, and it was lunchtime on Friday before I got around to talking to him.

"So," I began awkwardly. "You really like Alice."

He smiled. "Yes, I do."

"Does she like you?" Okay, this probably wasn't the best approach, but I couldn't think of any other way to bring it up.

He looked confused. "Well… I don't know. I _think _so." I nodded my head, and he sensed that what I had to say wasn't positive. "Why?" There was fear and concern in his voice.

I didn't know what to say. So I kept my eyes on the table and rambled.

"Well, I watched her. And I watched you. She's a great girl and all, and I know you really like her. Maybe you even love her. Either way, I can tell it's serious for you; I can see it in your eyes, in your face, and in the way you move around her. But I don't want to see you get your heart broken. I can see your feelings so clearly, Jasper, but I don't see _hers_. I don't see those serious feelings in her eyes or her face. I think she's going to hurt you, and I don't want that to happen."

When I was done talking, I looked up at Jasper. His face seemed strangely blank. I wasn't sure how he was going to react. Would he hit me? Would he never talk to me again? Jasper looked up to me; he usually took my advice, but I may have gone too far this time.

He was deep in thought for several minutes. Eventually, his face took on an expression of disappointed resolve, like he had just figured out the answer to a tough question, but it wasn't the answer he wanted.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Don't be. Thank you, Edward," he said, formally. I wasn't sure how to feel. I was relieved that he believed me, and glad that I was saving him from an even bigger heartbreak later, but I also knew that I had just hurt my best friend. I didn't know what to say.

Before I could come up with the right words, he looked at me with determination burning in his eyes.

"We're going to the dance tonight."

"Alright." He looked satisfied with my answer. Honestly, I wasn't sure if it was the best idea, but he did need to move on, and I would help him as much as I could.

He didn't mention Alice's name for the rest of the day. He was trying to look like he was over her. He wasn't doing a very good job. But we went to the dance, and I was prepared to have an absolutely miserable time, for Jasper's sake.

Bella and Alice saw us almost immediately after we walked in, and Alice waved energetically. I tried not to notice how great Bella looked. _I'm here for Jasper. Not her._

After Jasper ignored her wave and avoided her eyes, Alice never tried to approach him--further proof, I suppose, that I had done the right thing. She didn't even care.

Jasper and I stood in the corner of the gym, neither of us saying a word. I didn't want to be the first to speak. The silence continued until Lauren walked up to us, wiggling her hips and fluttering her eyelashes.

"Edward," she said, in what I could only assume was her attempt at a sexy voice. "Wanna dance?"

"No, thank you." I said it politely, but she must have seen the look in my eyes that showed how final my decision was, because, instead of asking again, she turned to Jasper.

"How about you? I'm all alone, and I don't have anyone to dance with." She pouted, and I resisted the urge to laugh at her.

"Sure," said Jasper, without looking at her. Okay, I knew he was upset, and I knew he wanted to forget about Alice. But Lauren? _Really_?

She grabbed his wrist with a twisted smile on her face and dragged him to the dance floor. He was really putting his body into the music, grinding with her, and, even though I knew his mind was elsewhere, I couldn't watch. That was just sick.

When I turned around, I saw something that disgusted me even more. Bella was talking to _Mike Newton_.

So I did what I always seemed to be doing these days. I took off.

**Review, even if it's to tell me how much you hate me for hurting Jasper!**


	10. Chapter 9

**I'm glad that most of you can forgive me for what I did. I have to warn you, though, it's going to get worse before it can get better...  
**

When Edward walked into the dance with Jasper, I couldn't deny that I felt a flicker of something; lust, maybe, would make the most sense--he looked absolutely gorgeous--but I was sure that wasn't it. This was much stronger. The last few days with him had confused me. The strange attraction to him was certainly still there, but it was more than that now.

I didn't have time to dwell on that fact. It took me too long to catch on to what had only taken a split second to make Alice's face fall, but I soon saw what she had seen. Jasper had ignored her. Brutally.

"Bella?" she whispered, horrified. "What just happened?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure it's nothing…" She could hear the lie in my voice as well as I could, and she bolted for the bathroom. I ran after her, following her into the stall and holding her hair back. She barely made it in time, and I was silently glad she had decided to wear her cheap shoes.

I wanted to comfort her. I wanted to tell her she was overreacting and that it would be fine, but I didn't know how to make the words sound true. I had seen his face. It looked at her coldly before turning away. Call it female intuition, but it was beyond obvious that something was very, very wrong.

She didn't cry, even after I finished wiping off her shoes and washing her face for her. There was a layer of sweat all over her body, and I was afraid she was going to faint. She sat on the cold tile floor, looking empty. I held her hand loosely and waited for her to speak or move.

Finally, she looked at me. "Bella," she mumbled. "Can you get me some water?"

"Of course. Will you be okay by yourself? I swear I'll be right back." She nodded weakly, and I ran out of the bathroom.

At Forks High, we have water coolers in every hallway, along with tiny, conical cups like they have at business meetings. I filled two of them, and walked back towards the bathroom as quickly as I could without spilling the water all over myself. Before I got there, Mike stopped me.

"Hey, Bella," he greeted me cheerily.

"Sorry, Mike, I can't talk right now," I tried to hurry past him, but he stopped me again.

"Is something wrong?" He seemed genuinely concerned.

"Yes. It's Alice. I can't talk about it right now…"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I won't keep you."

"Thanks, Mike." I turned away quickly. I took a few steps, and looked behind me to give Mike a quick smile, but he was looking in the other direction, with fire in his eyes.

_Edward._

He was watching Edward walk out the door. Edward looked furious about something, and there was hate in Mike's glare. I would have to ask him about that later.

I rushed back to Alice and handed her the water. She looked a little bit better; there was more colour in her cheeks, and her eyes had a hint of life in them.

Her voice was stronger when she said, "I'm going to go home now."

"I'll go with you," I said quickly.

"Don't be silly. We both brought our cars. You can't leave yours."

"I'll follow you in my car, then."

"No, Bella. It's fine. I'll be fine. Stay here." I continued to argue, but Alice refused to give in. Her voice was sounding more strained as she got mad at me, and I didn't want to give her more reason to be upset. She lived close by, so I eventually agreed to let her go alone.

After she gave me a small smile and left, I returned to the gym. When I saw Jasper grinding with Lauren, _I _almost vomited. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe him. How could he do that to Alice?! I wanted to scream.

Aggression was building inside me, so I ran out of the gym before I let my anger get the better of me. I would not stoop to using violence. However sorely I was tempted.

I slumped down onto the floor in the hallway, trying to calm myself down. Mike had seen me run out. He followed, and sat on the floor next to me.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really," I admitted.

"Okay." He smiled kindly.

I needed something to distract me from thinking about how Jasper--his name made me shudder--had hurt my best friend. "Mike, why were you giving Edward the evil eye earlier?"

"I hate him," he answered quickly.

"I gathered as much. But why?"

"I used to be friends with him, sort of. We used to play football together, so I knew him pretty well. Well, I thought I did." He cringed, then continued. "Then he slept with my girlfriend. So now I hate him."

I was stunned. "Edward… _slept… _with you… _girlfriend_?" I looked at Mike stupidly, and struggled for the words. He nodded sadly.

Edward had seemed so… _nice_? I even struggled for the words in my own thoughts. My head was a mess of shock and anger that Edward would do that, and embarrassment that I had ever had feelings for him. I thought_… _What _did_ I think?

Mike watched me. Trying to understand my reaction, probably. I didn't want him to see my embarrassment. I didn't want him to know how I used to feel about Edward. How part of me _still_ felt about him, if I was being honest with myself.

But I wouldn't let myself feel that way anymore. I would use my hate to drive it away. _No, Edward, you can't have that part of my heart anymore. I want it back. You are banished._

I left the dance, and burst into tears the second I got into my car. _What is wrong with me? _I hardly even knew Edward, and he didn't even like me. I never thought I had a real chance with him. If I was feeling like this, I could scarcely imagine how Alice must have felt. Poor Alice. I sobbed even harder.

I spent the weekend talking to Alice on the phone, reading chick lit, and blasting my music. I resolved to be civil to Edward, though. We had to finish this project. Plus, half of the reason I was angry with him wasn't even his fault… _unless it's his fault he's smart, funny, kind, and incredibly gorgeous. _No, he was probably not all that kind, if he slept with his friend's girlfriend. But still.

On Monday, I was distracted the whole time we worked on the lullaby. I think he could tell, because he didn't try to start asking questions like we had done every day before. Whenever he looked at me, though, he did so with such probing intensity that I began to feel awkward. Had he looked at me that way a few days ago, I would have been delighted. Now, though, things were different. I tried harder than ever to hate him.

Neither Alice nor Jasper was at school. I was sitting at my lunch table, feeling alone, when I made eye contact with Edward. He was sitting by himself at a table in the corner. He made a small gesture, indicating for me to join him. Reluctantly, I agreed.

I sat across from him, and we stared at each other in silence. He looked like he was thinking hard about something, making a tough decision.

Finally, he broke the silence.

"Bella Swan. I think… I like you. A lot. Bella, will you go out with me?"

**Review!**


	11. Chapter 10

**I know it's short, and I'm sorry, but I wanted to keep this scene by itself. This is in EPOV.  
**

"Bella Swan. I think… I like you. A lot. Bella, will you go out with me?"

I wanted to look away, but that was the easy way out. No. I would not break eye contact. _Yes. Yes. Yes. _I focused on the word as hard as I could, as if my thinking it would make her say it. _Yes. Please say yes, and end my misery._

"What?" she said, in disbelief. Not exactly the response I was going for, but at least it wasn't a 'no.'

"Will. You. Go out. With me?"

She still seemed confused by the question. "Why would you ask me that?" I started to respond, but she cut me off. "It was a rhetorical question, Edward. You _hate_ me. I hate you, pretty much. Why, do you want to sleep with me like you did with Mike's old girlfriend? He told me the whole story, Edward. _You're such a great guy._" Her voice was dripping with sarcasm, and I was too shocked by her accusations to respond. I was starting to think I would have preferred a simple 'no.'

It was strange; she seemed angry, but not angry. She wasn't yelling. In fact, she seemed to be quite calm, but there was an emotion buried in her eyes that suggested otherwise. I was still trying to process her words and her tone, and she was staring awkwardly at the table.

Out of nowhere, she said, "You're not eating the burger part of your burger."

Despite the jumble of emotions I felt, I laughed humourlessly at that comment. "I'm a vegetarian. And you are quite the conversationalist, aren't you?" Her cheeks burned red, and, for the first time, I wished she wasn't so beautiful.

There was more anger in her voice when she said, "Look. I'm not in the best mood right now, what with finding out you're a bastard and trying to help my best friend live through a broken heart. And _this. _This _lovely _conversation is the cherry on top. So thank you, Edward, for making my day."

"_Your _best friend? Your best friend was the whole goddamn problem! I _told _Jasper…" I never finished that thought, but Bella looked at me intensely. Her eyes flashed, and I knew she had figured it out.

"You told Jasper _what_, exactly? You told him to treat Alice like garbage? You told him to destroy her? _You _are the reason why my best friend is probably at home crying right now?" As her voice crescendoed, anger built up inside me.

Wait, _crying_? Was I wrong about Alice?

There was no time to consider that possibility now. I was in full argument mode, and there was no backing down.

"Yes, I suppose I am," I admitted in a self-righteous tone that I instantly regretted. "I did it to save my best friend."

"Well, nice save, _Eddie_, but you threw Alice to the sharks in the process. You just like to hurt everyone around you, don't you? You hurt me, Jasper and Alice, Mike…"

"If I have ever hurt Mike, it's not nearly as much as he deserves," I hissed.

What the hell did Mike tell her? Ugh.

"I'm glad I'm finding out now what a sadist you are. At least I know to stay away from you, and never let you take care of my pets." She didn't even have any pets. I had asked her that question. "Maybe it's better that Alice and Jasper aren't dating. You'd probably try to sleep with _her_, too."

So Mike said I slept with his girlfriend. Clearly I wasn't a sadist. I was a fucking masochist. Falling for Bella was causing me excruciating pain.

"Good to know you feel that way. Now you should get the hell away from my lunch table before I hurt you, like the sadist I am," I deadpanned. She caught the honest suggestion behind the joke, and left without another word.

**Reviews are my inspiration. They remind me that you guys deserve good, frequent updates, so it's a win-win situation! **


	12. The Letter

**So this isn't really a chapter. This is the letter that Edward gave Bella the day after the last chapter's conversation. He shoved it in her locker.**

**I know it's not great, but I feel like I've been staring at my computer screen for ages, and it's not getting any better. I'll give you another short chapter later tonight.**

**Also, there are almost 100 reviews! That's exciting for me. But, with my slow computer, it takes forever to reply to them all. I'll still reply to as many as I can, and I will definitely reply if you have a question. I am so grateful for each and every one of your reviews, so please don't stop! **

**Oh, and, if you get the ginormous MSCL reference, I officially love you.**

_Bella,_

_Don't worry, this is most definitely not a love letter. I know you probably don't want to hear what I have to say, and I can't say I blame you--if I were you, I wouldn't want to hear me out, either--but you made several accusations against me, and I think that, despite my behaviour, I deserve a chance to defend myself._

_I've never seen Jasper fall harder for anyone than he fell for Alice--not even close. I began to observe Alice, and, I swear, I wished that Jasper's feelings were requited. She was friendly, but that was all; she never seemed to show any emotion. I was afraid for Jasper. I was afraid that my friend would have his heart broken, and I'm sure that you, of all people, can relate to that particular feeling. So yes, I am the reason behind Jasper's behaviour at the dance. If you say, as her best friend, that Alice is as miserable in this situation as Jasper is, I guess I have to believe you. I am truly sorry for my interference. I see now that I was wrong, but, please, don't judge me too harshly. I was only trying to look out for Jasper. I'm certain you would have done the same for Alice._

_You alluded to a situation between Mike and myself last year; your second accusation--the more serious of the two, in my opinion, but the one in which I am in a better position to defend myself--was that I slept with his girlfriend. That is the opposite of true, and I mean that quite literally. I hope I am not wrong to trust you with these details of my private life._

_I had a girlfriend from Port Angeles last year. We dated for a couple of months, and things were going pretty well until she decided she was… _ready_… when I wasn't. I told her I wanted to wait, and she left my house angrily and refused to return my calls. The next day, I saw her in the stands at my football practice, and I thought she had decided to make it work. After practice, Coach called us in for a quick meeting, but Mike was missing, so Jasper and I checked the locker room and the showers for him, assuming he had forgotten. There, we found Mike and my girlfriend in a… very compromising position, to say the least. Mike and I haven't spoken since. That, believe it or not, is the real story. If you can't take my word for it, you can ask Jasper._

_I couldn't believe it when you seemed to think that I hated you. You couldn't be more wrong. I didn't write this letter hoping that you would return my feelings for you; I only hope that you can forgive me. I know I've caused you pain, and I'm sorry. If you want to hate me, go ahead. If you want to burn this letter, do it. You could burn the whole world down. You could tell me to go to hell. I'd go, if you wanted me to. And I'd send you a letter from there._

_Sincerely,_

_Edward Cullen_


	13. Chapter 11

**Okay, so, if Bella were reasonable, she would just talk to Edward about that letter, right? And everything would be sorted out, and everyone would get their happily ever after. But since when is Bella reasonable? She is self-deprecating. She'd rather assume Edward must hate her, even when he said otherwise. And, as far as he knows, she hates him. I'm sorry if you guys got your hopes up, but the happy ending is not quite yet. Personally, _I_ don't think her reaction is OOC...**

**But, if you were hoping for a happy chapter, well... you might not want to read this...**

**Actually, you should read it. There's a part in this that I really love, so I want everyone to read it and find it as tragically beautiful as I do.**

Stupid letter.

He was lying. Mike had no reason to lie to me, so Edward must have been lying. That was it. The only reasonable conclusion.

Stupid fucking letter.

Edward wasn't lying. I wished he was. It was so much easier when I had plenty of reasons to hate him. I was not _completely_ out of reasons yet. He was still the reason why Alice's heart was broken. I wanted to hate him for that. Could I hate him for that? I thought I could.

_I can't._

He made a mistake. A small mistake that caused a much, _much_ bigger one. He was right about one thing, though: if I had made the same small mistake, I would have made the big mistake, too. A small mistake isn't enough reason to hate someone, is it? So I guess I couldn't hate him for either one. Oh, how I wished I could.

I told Alice about everything with Edward, including the letter, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her about the part involving Jasper. I couldn't raise her hopes.

I asked her if she thought I should tell people about what an ass Mike was. I wanted to. I wanted him to get what he deserved. But it was Edward's private life. It wasn't my story to tell. Alice agreed.

Edward and I stopped talking to each other, obviously. I tried to finish the lullaby by myself, but I was so distracted that I could barely think. It turned out really badly. The ending was all wrong. Oh well. The B I knew it would get was still better than failing.

Mr. Graham called on Edward first. Edward put a CD on his desk and walked back to his seat. "This is your project, I assume?"

"Mine and Bella's," Edward corrected.

I was shocked that he would do that for me, after the way I treated him. I stared at him, wide-eyed and red-faced, but he never looked at me.

I was embarrassed. I didn't deserve Edward's charity, and he probably resented me for it. He had said that he didn't hate me, but how could he not? After what I said to him? I don't deserve his forgiveness.

Mr. Graham put the disc into the CD player, and the familiar melody drifted lightly through the room. It sounded nothing like the piece of shit I had recorded. Though it was the same song, comparing the two would be like comparing Mozart's _Twelve Variations on "Ah vous dirai-je, Maman"_ to a kindergartener's performance of _Twinkle Twinkle Little Star._ The ending was done by Edward alone, and it was the most beautiful part of the composition. I couldn't believe I had ever given my input, when Edward was clearly infinitely more capable. My cheeks turned an even darker shade of red as the song finally came to a close with a hauntingly beautiful note hovering in the air.

I wanted to cry.

And Edward still didn't look at me.

Alice was back at school, and, to anyone who didn't know better, she acted the same way she had before Jasper was in her life. I knew better, of course. But Alice was never one to mope. She put on her best smile, and suffered in silence. It broke my heart to watch her. I feared she would never be quite as whole as she was with Jasper. He had taken part of her with him.

The weeks passed without event.

As much as I hated to admit it, I knew I was as much changed as Alice. As much as it killed me to even think his name, he was always in the corners of my mind.

I practiced piano every day before bed, always playing the lullaby last. It was no longer Hamlet's song at Ophelia's grave; it was Ophelia's song for Hamlet's rejection. Ophelia's song, chronicling her descent from desperation and grief into madness. I knew all along that Hamlet would have no such lamentation for Ophelia. It was wishful thinking.

I couldn't eat meat. I told my parents I had decided to become a vegetarian, which, I suppose, was the truth, but without all the gory details. Alice could only guess at the real reason for the change, because neither of us ever mentioned their names anymore.

I applied to the University of Chicago. I found a copy of a first year reading list, and slowly checked off the books, one by one. When I finished that list, I looked for book lists online, reading anything I could get my hands on. I couldn't let myself think; books drove away my own thoughts and surrounded me with somebody else's. That was nice.

I tried to act normal, but I wasn't as good at pretending as Alice. I was quiet most of the time, and I laughed very little. My friendship with Alice strengthened, but I felt like everyone else was a stranger.

My behaviour made no sense, even to me. I wanted to remember him, but forget him. I wouldn't let myself think of him, yet I was doing everything I could to keep part of him in my life. I had never been sure that I loved him until I was sure he was gone for good. Madness. Pure madness. I would end up face-down in the stream, like Ophelia.

And Hamlet ain't got nothing on my Edward.

**Don't worry, they'll be happy eventually! I promise. Review!**


	14. Chapter 12

**For all you Pride and Prejudice fans: this is the part where my story has to be a little bit different. Because of the way my characters work, and because of the pacing of this story, the relationships, etc, something you guys are expecting to happen will happen in a way that is probably so simple that you weren't expecting it, and some of the results will be different. I know, it's not even close to the awesomeness that is Pride and Prejudice, but I hope you guys can simply take it for what it is and enjoy it nonetheless. Don't get _too_ caught up in the differences, deal? **

**Also, I'm not sure if I've been spoiling you guys or annoying you with my 2-3 updates every day routine, but, for a very complicated reason (that has to do with the fact that I have to read 15 books in 8 days, as well as work and, hopefully, sleep...) I will be updating probably once a day until the end (unless I decide to forget about the sleep part, which is entirely possible).**

**Sorry for the monstrous A/N.**

I felt like nothing could break into my stupor. I thought for sure it was irreversible--my punishment for choosing numbness over pain.

I was wrong.

It was the weirdest thing, actually. The news that finally woke me up was distressing, of course, but it wasn't the tragedy my mind made it out to be. I overreacted, big time. I think it set me off because it reminded me of everything that I didn't want to be reminded of.

Or maybe it was my way of releasing all the emotions I had been refusing to face: several weeks worth of love, hate, anger, desire, confusion, and, most of all, sadness, all let out in one burst of insanity.

Or maybe it was because I blamed Mike for everything that had happened, even the stuff that was clearly not his fault. I didn't want to blame myself, and I could not blame… _him. _Calling it what it was--an unfortunate series of miscommunications--did not make me feel any better. So I blamed Mike.

Or maybe it was because I knew that _I _was to blame for this. I had known the truth, and I had chosen to remain silent. It was all my fault.

So, for some combination of those reasons, I totally freaked out when I overheard Jessica talking about her _boyfriend_ in English class one day. Her boyfriend, _Mike Newton_.

My eyes opened wide, and I stared at Jessica. I was frozen in my seat, and my vision became blurry. I heard someone gasping for air, and it took me several seconds to realize that it was _me._

My legs felt as though they had turned into jelly, so it took a great amount of effort for me to stand up and try to run out of the classroom. I crashed into desks along the way, giving me bruises that I could not even feel through my panic.

Several people started talking, or maybe yelling, at me. It was all just a jumble of voices. Presumably, it was Mr. Graham and the students whose desks I had run into, but I didn't turn to look. As I ran aimlessly down the hallway, I heard another voice behind me.

"Bella!"

It had been weeks since that particular voice had said my name, but I recognized it immediately. I ran even faster away from it, having finally picked a destination--the girls' bathroom. I couldn't let him watch this meltdown. But it was too late. He took me by the shoulders and led me to an empty classroom. I didn't have the strength to protest. He sat me down at a desk, and kneeled next to me protectively.

By now, I was sobbing. He left one hand on my shoulder, rubbing in circles, while I cried myself out. I watched him out of the corner of my eye; he was removing his iPod headphones, not looking at me. His green eyes were intense. And he looked so perfect.

When all the tears were out of me, he still didn't speak. I knew he was waiting for an explanation. All of a sudden, I was shy. I didn't want to talk to him.

"Jessica said… Mike is her… boyfriend," I whispered, without looking at him.

"Oh." He was confused. He didn't seem to see the problem. "Did you like him or something…?"

That set me off. No amount of nervousness, exhaustion, grief, or numbness stood a chance.

"NO!" I screamed and stood up, and he flinched away from me, almost falling to the floor. "No, I do not like _Mike_! He is… There are no words to describe, to even come _close _to describing, how much _I_ _hate Mike Newton_! But Jessica. She doesn't even know! She fell for it, like I fell for it. She doesn't _know_, and now she's fucking _dating_ the bastard! I just… I can't believe I… I _knew_. I knew, and I did nothing. I'm _disgusted_ with myself. I'm disgusted with _Mike_! I'm just… _It's all my fault!_"

Then I did something very brave. I looked down at him.

He was looking up at me with concern. No, it wasn't concern, exactly. I couldn't tell what it was, but he seemed sad, ashamed, and relieved at the same time. But there was more. A depth I didn't understand. If I didn't know better, I might have called it love.

"It's not your fault," he whispered.

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is!"

"Bella, you are the most stubborn person I've ever met." I didn't respond, so he took my hand and said, "Come on. Let's get you cleaned up."

He lead me to the bathroom, and stopped just outside. He looked uncomfortable, and I could tell he was deciding whether or not he should come in with me.

"I'll be fine," I mumbled.

"You're sure?" He seemed honestly worried about me. He was probably afraid I'd blow again. He must have been deciding whether or not it's okay to leave the crazy girl alone in a room with an inside lock. Fuck.

"Yeah."

He looked sceptical. "I'll go find Alice." I nodded. He gave me one last, long look, and walked away.

I washed my face and dabbed at my eyes, trying to remove any visible indication of my moment of weakness. When Alice found me and asked me what happened, I almost lost it again. I now had to add 'Edward Cullen thinks I'm insane' to my list of problems. I was beginning to really miss the numbness.

At least I could think his name again. Edward. _Edward, I love you._

At lunchtime, Alice and I sat at our new table on the far side of the cafeteria, nowhere near our old one. We didn't talk much, but she understood.

"It's going to be okay, you know," she said, breaking the silence.

"I bet it's not."

"Yes, it is. I can tell." I wanted so badly to believe her.

Just then, I heard a high-pitched shriek from the other end of the cafeteria. Things seemed to move slowly, as every single person turned to see what had happened. We all saw the same thing.

The shriek had come from Jessica. She was standing up at her table, her mouth hanging open. Edward was standing over her with his hand on her shoulder. It appeared as though he had just told her something quietly. Suddenly, Mike was storming towards Edward, furious. I could hear that Mike and Edward were talking loudly, but I couldn't make out the words.

Suddenly, a single fist came out of nowhere, and he was sprawled across the floor, bleeding profusely.

**Ooh, who is the 'he' in that sentence? It may or may not be who you're expecting... Muahahaha!**

**Let me know what you think!**


	15. Chapter 13

**Or it could be exactly who you're expecting. Heh.**

**I officially have the awesomest readers in the world. So I actually _did _decide to skip sleep. (I finished 3 of the books. I'm proud of myself.) This chapter switches POVs in the middle. The first half is EPOV.**

I couldn't feel any regret as I watched Mike bleed on the floor. His nose was definitely broken, and he deserved it. He was the reason Bella was hurting this morning, so I had to make him hurt in return. It seemed to be the only reasonable conclusion.

I told Jessica the whole story about Mike and my girlfriend. I didn't skim over _any _of the dirty details like I had with Bella, and, when I heard her emit the shriek that made five hundred heads turn towards us, I couldn't help but feel a little self-satisfied.

I could tell she believed me, even though she barely even knew me. I have this theory that some sort of chemical reaction occurs inside someone's brain when they hear the truth; something clicks, and doubt is next to impossible. Maybe it's because we all know the truth in the back of our minds, but we can't unlock it until someone else gives us the key.

Students began to gather around Mike, and he was crying and cursing loudly. Blood was everywhere. I stood near him, doing nothing, waiting for something to happen to me. I would get suspended, but that was fine. It was worth it.

Bella was on the other end of the cafeteria, watching the scene. I caught her eye, and neither of us looked away. I could not read her expression, so I settled with gaping at her beauty. She was wonderful, astonishing, extraordinary, marvelous. None of my words were enough. Here I was, the boy with all the answers, speechless and in agony over a girl. I felt like a movie cliché, but I didn't really mind; my love for her was as pure and simple as anything in fiction, and the feeling empowered me.

I had been so scared that her reaction in English class was because she _liked_ him. I didn't even know she believed me about him. Now I was… relieved? Confused? Ecstatic? Hopeful?

By giving her the letter, and by punching Mike because of _her_, I felt that I had done my part. I had made my feelings for her more than a little clear. The ball was in her end of the court now. _Please. Do something. Anything. I need to know._

I was stuck in my eye contact with Bella, without any clue what was going on inside her head, until Mr. Tanner took my arm and pulled me lightly in the direction of the main office. Sigh.

To my immense surprise, Jessica had informed the principal of my provocation; due to my next-to-spotless record, I got off with three detentions and a "very serious warning." Mike wasn't planning on pressing charges.

When I left the office, I knew what I had to do next.

_Talk to Jasper._

I didn't see him until fifth period. We had been spending a lot of our time together in silence; neither of us had much to say these days, it seemed. We weren't bothered by the silence, but this also meant we never worried much about finding each other between classes or after school. We were fine with our alone time, too.

He had heard about what happened. The whole town had probably heard. I wasn't sure what to expect for his reaction, but I wasn't expecting him to be so calm about it.

"Finally," he said with a small smile. More reassuringly, he added, "He deserved it."

"I didn't do it for _me._"

"I know." He looked straight at me, and I could tell that he _did_ know. There was sadness in his eyes, and I felt guiltier than I ever have in my life. _What have I done to him?_

"Jasper, I've got to tell you something." He looked confused at the sudden change in tone. "It's about Alice…" He cringed when I said the name for the first time in weeks. I couldn't believe _I _had caused that. "Jasper, I was wrong. And I'm sorry. _So _sorry. She wants you. She loves you. You have to go get her back."

His eyes widened as he tried to make sense of my words. A thousand emotions flitted across his face, and he settled with confusion. "Why…?"

"I swear, I really thought… Well, it doesn't matter anymore. But forgive me, please." I was begging. I was pathetic, and my words sounded like lines from chick flicks, but I didn't care. I hated myself, and Jasper had every right to hate me, too.

He finally looked like he believed me, at least, and I saw triumph in his expression. "Of course I forgive you," he said, as if the question was ridiculous. A sly, excited grin crossed his face as he said, "What I _don't _forgive you for is telling me this at the _beginning _of class. How the hell am I supposed sit through the next hour?"

**--**

**APOV**

I wasn't even sure I believed in true love until he came around.

Then I knew. From my very first conversation with Jasper--about the Civil War, of all things--I knew that this was it. If any doubts remained, they were immediately banished from my mind when Edward Cullen came into the picture. That was the happiest moment of my life to date: the second I realized that my best friend and I had both found our soulmates. Nothing could be better than that.

When things started to go wrong, I doubted myself. I don't think I could ever regret anything more than I regret doubting myself; everything seemed to crumble from there, and Bella and I were left in the wreckage, holding onto each other for dear life.

That was a bad time for us, to say the least.

It took me longer than it should have to realize that everything would be fine. Soulmates do not leave one another for good. The world can try tear them apart, put oceans between them, but they always find each other in the end. I am a part of Jasper, as he is a part of me, and, no matter what, we would find each other again. The truth was inescapable.

Bella insisted on being a pessimist, which was… annoying, but expected. I still felt incomplete without Jasper, but the hope and confidence was beginning to fill the hole in my heart where he had once been, and where he would soon be again. What was filling the hole in Bella? Negativity? Tainted memories? Or had she left it completely empty, and that was what was destroying her inside? I was confident that our soulmates would be back; I hoped, more for Bella's sake than for mine, that they would be back sooner than later. That hole of hers was not getting any better.

_Speak of the devil and he shall appear._

Jasper was walking towards me. Looking perfect. My heart felt like it was about to burst out of my chest. I felt the hole returning, and everything that filled it seemed to leave me.

_No, it's not leaving me_, I told myself. _It's only moving to make room for Jasper._

I pushed the fear away, and looked at his face. He was staring deep into my eyes with more emotion than I'd ever seen in him before. It took my breath away.

We stared at each other for several minutes, silently communicating. I didn't need to hear his words or feel his skin on mine to understand him perfectly, and I knew he felt the same way.

_He loved me. I loved him. This was it._

"You've kept me waiting a long time."

**Reviews are love.**


	16. Chapter 14

**Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews! They make me super happy.**

**This won't be the last chapter, but we're getting pretty close! **

**I'm really glad you guys put up with all the sad stuff, so I hope you enjoy the happy stuff.**

When Alice told me about her and Jasper, part of me wanted to cry. Then I felt like a horrible, selfish bitch. Why couldn't I just be happy for my friend? Why did I have to be wallowing in self-pity?

I didn't deserve happiness. I didn't deserve Edward. _I am a terrible excuse for a human being._

I really was happy for her. Of course I was happy for her. She was my friend, and she deserved the very best. I couldn't help but feel jealous, though. And lonely. I didn't know if I could handle being a third wheel anymore, even though Alice was always completely nice and amazingly sweet about it.

Alice understood my pain, and it made her sad. That only increased my self-loathing. Not only was I completely miserable and selfish, I was bringing my best friend down with me.

She was tirelessly optimistic, though, and I loved her for it. I had never even explicitly stated my feelings for Edward, but she knew all along. And she was absolutely, totally convinced that things would work out between us. I loved her for that, too, but I was afraid that she was giving me false hope. I told her that, and she laughed and said, "Silly Bella. There's nothing false about hope."

I really was beginning to hope, as hard as I tried not to. After I saw Edward punch Mike, and after that wonderfully long look he gave me, I knew I needed to talk to him. I didn't expect anything, but I couldn't stand loving him every minute as we carefully and systematically avoided each other. Something had to change, and the way I felt about him never would. I needed _something _to keep my going. Friendship. The idea of only being friends with him made me ache all over, but living without him was killing me. So I would take what I could get.

So that meant I'd have to talk to him.

I had it all planned out. I would stop him after English class, and I would thank him for punching Mike. He would be polite, we would say goodbye, and contact would be initiated.

Actually following through was tough. I remember standing on the edge of the diving board at the YMCA when I was six years old. _I can do it, I can do it_. No matter how long you wait, you can never be fully prepared, and, when you finally make that decision to jump, there's no going back.

"Edward," I finally managed.

He turned toward me as if he had been waiting to hear me call his name. "Yes?"

"Thank you," I said abruptly. Cowards like me can't afford hesitation.

"You're welcome," he said, confused. "For what, exactly?"

"For punching Mike. And for telling Jessica. She deserved to know what a creep he is, so thank you for that. I know, you had your own reasons for doing that stuff. But that doesn't mean I can't be grateful," I rambled. "So, yeah… Thanks."

He looked at me intensely, but questioningly. "Bella, why do you think I punched Mike?"

"Because he slept with your girlfriend…?" Right?

He shook his head slowly. "I saw you upset that morning, and it made me hate Mike so much. Watching you cry over what he did killed me, and I acted irrationally. I did the only thing that made sense at the time. Bella, I'm not Mike's biggest fan, but, what I did, I did for you."

I sucked in a breath. "I… I don't… understand."

He tilted his head and took a step closer to me. "Did you even _read _my letter?" I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. "Then what don't you understand? I _love _you, Bella. I know you don't feel the same way, and that's fine, so that's why I'm not going to bother you again." He took my hands and squeezed them tenderly. Then he did the worst thing he could have done.

He walked away.

Then I did the worst thing I could have done. I let him.

For about ten seconds, I stood, dumbstruck, in the classroom as Edward walked away from me. For about ten seconds, I was a complete idiot. As he turned a corner, something clicked inside my brain.

_He loved me._

I had been so stubbornly certain that he hated me that I couldn't see the truth. Now, it was alarmingly obvious. It was like part of me had always known, and that's why I held on to him so tightly. Alice was right. Edward and I were made for each other, just as she and Jasper were. _I am a moron._

Without thinking, I sprinted after him. Breathlessly, I grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. The hallway was crowded, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

"Edward, I… I…" He looked at me, patient but confused. I couldn't seem to get the words out, so I did the only thing I could think to do.

I put my hands on the sides of his angelic face and pulled it down to meet mine. I pushed our lips together with all force and passion I could, and he responded, surprised but eager. He placed one of his hands on my hip and brought me closer to him. Every curve of my body fit perfectly against him, and his other hand trailed lightly across my neck and collarbone. My hands drifted to his hair, pulling him even closer, deepening the kiss.

Soon, we were both gasping. He kissed my neck sweetly, and I kept his body pressed against mine.

"I love you, Edward."

He pulled away just enough that he could look straight in my eyes. They were bright with excitement and more intense than I had ever seen them.

"You are my life now," he said simply, giving me the most beautiful crooked smile and pulling me back into a tight embrace.

The bell had rung, and we both had classes to get to, but that didn't matter. We were alone. We were together. This was the only kind of chemistry I wanted to think about.

"So, Alice was right," I said conversationally into his shoulder.

"What was Alice right about?"

"True love never really ends, does it?" It surprised me how comfortable I felt, discussing true, undying love with this perfect man in my arms.

"No, it doesn't," he chuckled. "So I guess you're stuck with me forever."

"I think… I would be okay with that."

He kissed me again, slowly and sweetly. He held my face firmly in his hands and murmured into my lips, "You better be."


	17. Chapter 15

**I am _so _sorry I took so long for this chapter! I was really, really sick, so I couldn't concentrate on writing.**

**I got a pleasant surprise during my sick days, though; I found out that this story was nominated for 'Best Kiss (incomplete story)' in the Romancetastic Round of the Twilight Awards! I couldn't even believe it. Thank you so much to all my awesome readers, and to whoever nominated it! Check out twilightawards(dot)this-paradise(dot)com! Voting is now open! Go and vote for your favourite stories (and mine, preferably)!**

**Anyways, this is the conclusion. Hope you like it! Pure fluff.**

**EPOV**

"Edward," Bella whined. "Where are we going?"

"I told you, love, it's a surprise."

"I hate surprises," she pouted, looking so unbelievably sexy that I almost gave in. Almost. If I told her where we were going, she would refuse. And I wouldn't risk that.

After all those awful weeks spent without Bella in my life, I couldn't get enough of her. It had been six months since we started dating, and my love for her had only increased with every second I spent at her side. I needed tonight to be perfect. Looking at Bella, I was a bundle of nerves and hormones; I couldn't decide which was more powerful.

Alice had given her a makeover in honour of tonight, and she looked even more beautiful than normal, even with a scowl on her face. Her hair was pulled up, and a few gorgeous curls cascaded over her shoulders and back. Her makeup perfectly accentuated the chocolate brown eyes that captured my attention from the first time I saw her. She wore a dark blue strapless dress, which hung perfectly off the curves of her hips and breasts; I shifted my pants uncomfortably.

I couldn't believe she hadn't figured out where I was taking her. It was all anyone had been talking about for weeks, but we had gotten so caught up in our own little world together that she hadn't even noticed. Alice remembered, of course, but I had made her promise not to mention it. She agreed to be silent in return for total style control over both Bella and I tonight. I agreed without hesitation.

We drove in comfortable silence. Bella looked around curiously, trying to guess where we were going, and I laughed quietly. _What kind of senior girl forgets her own…_

"Prom?!" she screamed as I pulled the Volvo into the Forks High parking lot. "You're taking me to _prom_?"

"Honestly, Bella," I said innocently. "Where did you _think_ we were going?"

She blushed and looked at her feet. "Uh… I don't… I don't know. Not prom!"

"Come on. It'll be fun." She glared at me silently, so I got out of the car and opened the door for her. "Please? For me?" I reached for her hand.

Her eyes softened. "It's not fair," she sighed as she took my hand and stepped out of the car. "How could anyone refuse you of anything?"

I smiled, pulling her into my arms and kissing her softly. She returned my smile, and I knew I was forgiven. We walked silently to the door, hand in hand. She was trying to steady her breathing; whether it had sped up from nervousness or from my kissing, I wasn't sure.

Prom was exactly as I had expected it to be. It was an experience I wanted to share with Bella, but, otherwise, I had no desire to stand amidst the crepe paper and balloons, watching our classmates dirty dance in formal wear. After twenty minutes of talking to Alice and Jasper by the punch bowl, Bella and I were both ready to leave. I had more important things to attend to tonight.

"Edward, I've done my time. Can we please go now?" she whined.

I leaned over and whispered into her ear, "Only if you tell me where you thought we were going tonight." Her face fell. She was hoping I hadn't noticed her reaction earlier.

"Let's just stay, then," she mumbled.

"Bella." I smiled at her and held out my hand. She took it reluctantly, and we walked back to my Volvo. "The night is young; do you want to come back to my house for a bit?" She nodded, and I drove with one hand on the wheel and the other held tightly in hers. The nerves and hormones were as strong as ever, and they had me trembling at her touch.

I pulled her upstairs and into my bedroom. My parents weren't home, but I shut the door compulsively. Bella pressed play on my CD player, and threw herself onto my couch. She looked so magnificent that I practically ran to sit next to her.

A lullaby hummed through the speakers, and I allowed it to soothe me. She began to rub circles on my palm absentmindedly.

"So…"

She looked up at me hesitantly. "So, what?"

"So what did you _think_ we were doing tonight?" She tried to look away, but I held her chin inches from my face. Even through my curiosity, I had to fight the urge to close the distance between our lips.

"You'll laugh."

"I won't."

"You will."

"Try me."

"I thought… maybe… you might, I don't know… askmetomarryyouorsomething."

It was as if she thought she could speak fast enough that the words would fly right by me. But I caught every single one of them.

She was embarrassed. Her cheeks were bright, and she squirmed away from my eye contact.

I stood up and walked towards my desk drawer.

**BPOV**

Oh my God.

I can't believe I just told my boyfriend that I was expecting him to propose. Could I _be_ any more of an idiot?!

When he walked away, my embarrassment turned into frantic energy. I wouldn't allow my stupidity to totally fuck up the unexpected, strange, and wonderful relationship I had with Edward.

"Edward, I am _so _sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I was just… I mean, obviously we're too young. I know that…" He opened his desk drawer in silence. "Please say something, Edward." There was more than a hint of desperation in my voice.

He turned around and walked back to the couch, where he knelt by my side. He leaned in and kissed my neck gently, and his eyes were soft. I could only feel relief.

Then I noticed that he had something in his hand. My breathing hitched, and Edward chuckled. He ran his fingers lightly down my arm, taking my hand and kissing my fingertips. My breathing came in gasps as I slowly began to understand what was going on, and what Edward was about to say.

"Isabella Swan," he whispered, holding my hand to his lips. "I promise to love you forever--every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"

_He said, "Will you marry me?" didn't he? _My mind was racing. _He said those _exact _words?_

I was still worrying that I had misheard him, but I nodded my head and whispered, "Mhmm." I didn't trust my voice enough to tackle any full sentences.

His entire face lit up, and he opened the little box in his hand. At that moment, I was so overwhelmed with happiness that it could have been a ring from a cereal box and I wouldn't have cared. But it wasn't from a cereal box. It was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen.

"It was my grandmother's," he said quietly. "I would be honoured if you would wear it." I held out my hand, and he slipped the tiny ring onto my finger. It felt like it belonged there; like my hand--my life--had always been incomplete without it. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you, Edward," I finally managed. "Always."

His lips crashed into mine with passion that left me stunned. The joy in our lips and hearts left my thoughts scrambled and incoherent; all I knew was that an eternity with Edward would never be long enough.

_I wonder if Mr. Darcy could do that thing with his tongue..._

**THE END.**

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